I needn’t have worried. Standing on a cloud was his old pal. Since the coronavirus outbreak, my 47-year-old son has been washing his hands religiously. [example], (Fan) Have a fan-tastic birthday! One day, he called her. People say, “I’m taking it one day at a time.” You know what? Nearly 500 clean family-friendly movies that are appropriate for... You can spend five bucks on a pre-made card that is moderately funny, or you can make your own DIY funny birthday card that is actually hilarious. I told him it is between 8 am and 1 pm. Now I can only stutter in Spanish. The burger recipes, over 80 of them, are named with fun puns, and contain some weird and wonderful flavours. My memory is getting so bad, I asked the pharmacist, "Do you have any Acetylsalicylic acid?". “No. ), 12 Amazingly Clean Movies You’ve Probably Never Seen, The Massive List of Family-Friendly Movies That Grownups Love Too, 100 Hilarious Quote Ideas for DIY Funny Birthday Cards, How to make Homeless Care Kits that ACTUALLY help, Easy DIY Romantic Scavenger Hunt for Date Night, 20 Sympathy Gifts for Parents Who Have Lost a Child. [example], To Do List: Give birthday card to idiot ☑  [example], I really hope you like this gift that you specifically told me to buy for you. A: Someone who lays awake at night wondering the true meaning of Dog. I have no idea if there are actually a hundred ideas below. “My fingers can’t see! It’s amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Are you cutting hair in there now?” —Karen Strand. He’s... Did you hear about the two psychiatrists who passed each other on a walk? It’s your birthday! My son's a big fan of Bob's Burgers, so we picked this up as a birthday present for him. [example], (Orange) Orange you glad it’s your birthday! Yeah, I’m definitely going to do that. Then you’ll see what it’s like!”. Make every day a great day with these funny jokes about life that will make each day a little brighter. I was going to bake you a delicious rum cake, but I decided to go with a regular cake. Concerned that he might have put on a few pounds, my husband exited the bathroom and asked, “Do you think my chin is getting fat?” I smiled lovingly and replied, “Which one?”. “Ha­­! "You mean aspirin?" [example]. Recently, when I greeted my... At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having 
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. [example], Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard. Also note that these are all pretty clean. [example], Happy Birthday to one of the few people I can actually tolerate on a daily basis. Two old friends, Ned and John, lived for baseball. If you understand English, press 1. (Or sister)  [example], Outside: [Whatever you want… see any of the above quotes] Inside: Aww dang! I'm sick of following my dreams. After a health scare, I hugged my wife and whispered, “If something happens to me, the presents in my closet are yours.” She whispered back, “If anything happens to you,... Our boatswain's mate was a smoker who would toss his matches overboard. Inside: Happy birthday from #5! [example], Smells like old people. After hearing a sermon on Psalm 52:3-4 (lies and deceit), a man wrote the IRS, “I can’t sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax. Incredible recipe. She walked into... My husband and his sister are notorious yakkers. We'll let you know, as we abide by all FTC regulations, and we also just want to be up front and honest about everything. The definition of a perfectionist: someone who wants to go from point A to point A+. “I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said. You’re hardly annoying at all anymore!! The Poet can help. A Woman Shoots Her Husband For Stepping On The Clean Floor… A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. Inside: Wine glasses. My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery.