Oh, and my cats. I’m not surprised that you could be mistaken for an ENFJ. The best way to describe my view of the world and struggles: I can almost pin point someone’s thoughts just by walking by them. After Paul Grays demise, the keep performed a immense tour and performed in the red jumpsuits as seen in the self-titled photo above. If you’re interested in connecting with other INFJs from around the world, join Introvert Spring’s private INFJ forum. Still same result. Not getting too far into gender stuff, I identify biologically as male (which is true), and my body feels like mine and like it’s the right one, but in terms of gender I think of myself as a human being. The paradox is, that there is – scientifically and spiritually – no real “self” at all, but as an INFJ we must find this self somehow, because other types maybe have – from my point of view – a more superficial or “automated” mechanism of feeling and living their personality. My judgement and my killer intuition are back! I took the test many years ago during college. I love that we’ve all discovered this hugely beneficial look into ourselves! Breathe easy. Attention makes me uncomfortable on good days…highly annoyed on bad days. It was kindof implied as if it were a bad thing. I also feared, that I am a bipolar (or suffering from cyclothymia), but when I learned a bit more about myself and INFJs, I concluded that these “Up and Downs” tend to be “normal” in the case of this rare personality type. Anyway, I’m going to school and just got my BS in Counseling and am currently an Alcohol/Drug Counselor and I teach small DUI classes as well. It’s so strange to read about your own personally in so much detail. I stumbled on your website thanks to other introver-penned websites, and I was immediately hooked by this article… of course because I am an INFJ, and I loved the idea of “decoding” myself! You are an angel with a mission and I appreciate what you are doing here. People say the same thing to me when I tell them I’m an introvert. As a child my dad use to admire what a big heart I had. Hi Erin! I can spend hours upon hours contemplating the origins of the universe. If I went to parties, kinda forced myself to socialize with everyone. Hopefully with time, maybe I’ll come to fully embrace and come complete terms with who I am. I have rosacea on my face that never diminishes. I recently had to cut off someone who I truly love to death and had a very deep fall after losing a former best friend of his from highschool. I can relate to the mysterious nature of celebrities such as Nicole Kidman who is also an INFJ. I am an INFJ. I was just telling my husband last night that since I recently found out I am an INFJ it explains my extreme shyness as a child.It is exactly as you say “New people are a lot to take in for a kid sensitive to these things”. If I’m out all day or very busy it takes a few days to recover. To be honest, I’m so close to my ENTP friend that it is somewhat enjoyable. I can use my considerable people skills to really understand them and where they’re coming from, then use that in a kind of analytical way to get them to where I need them to go. Glad you can relate to the article. To this day I remember the expression in that lady’s face that led me to this conclusion. I’ve told some of my friends how disappointed I am because I feel I don’t “connect” to people, and it’s frustrating because they either seem to not understand it or not care. But I also have depression and social anxiety issues. They are both incredible conversationalists and seem extraordinarily extroverted when in face they are not. Look at the greats who have had it! Thank you all for being who you are and for listening. Let other people in when they are trying. Being a cheerleader. These uncommon jewels of the personality spectrum make up less than one percent of the population. Be brave and bold! I also found that choosing a career where I can work alone made a huge difference. But my husband reminded me of all the local things I do and the more I see it, the more it fits. I, too, being an INFJ, have on rare occasion, mulled over the idea that suicide would almost be preferable to living a life where “everyone” around me’s thoughts/feelings (the true ones they cover up)/sufferings etc…. It’s a relief for me, because while I was fine in that social sense, after a period of time I would feel anxious and tired and depressed for no reason, and feel I needed to get away to be by myself, a state in which I am probably the happiest as it allows me to indulge in my creative side and delve into books or film. I, too, have always felt I didn’t fit in even when I did (if that makes sense). I jump to “fix” the problems of people I have known only a short time, which is off-putting and quite effectively bars any meaningful friendship. I was diagnosed from my teenager years with a mother who was getting a degree in psychotherapy….. Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy. It’s really good to even have information for those who have recently found out that they are INFJs. Just my 2c. How many groups are we going to discriminate against because of gender? I tired… so I lost much friends now Hello, I was interested to read your article as I am always interested in psychology subjects. I read this comment threat last night and I can’t believe I went so long in the dark without realizing these things about myself. I get having nice things, financial security, and all of that, but I just don’t get how that could be an end in itself – how that could be a sufficient substitute for one’s life and identity? However, sometimes INFJs are too quick to door slam. 🙂 during primary school until jr. High was bullied and was extremely shy. If I project that line of thinking toward something productive I can usually get out of the low periods. Knowing I am the personality type that a narcissist targets brings me some relief. I hate drinking. My students have told me that they can’t believe I am an introvert and even people watching my teaching says that my whole personality changes. Go help someone, people!! As you’ll notice, all the commenter’s are identifiyng as INFJ, which presumably is rare but by all the comments it does not seem that way. so Jeff am i considered INFJ-A? It was only a few days ago that I found out I was an INFJ. She looked at me like I was nuts. I was exactly like you at 13. One thing that rings very true is the public service element, as I have been involved in the area of social responsibility for many years (since around the turn of the century), and unsuccessfully ran for mayor of my city twice as an independent (12 and 18 per cent of the vote). I still haven’t chosen a career path, but am in college (hence taking the test) and pursuing Accounting. I find my type quite helpful when dealing with others (especially my kids) but end up feeling quite exhausted when dealing with other people for too long. Just like u describe, i don’t really fit with mainstream society. I had difficulty completing homework in the huge study hall so would read a book in which I could fully engage and then would take it all home to do in a much quieter place. i always feel uncomfortable about not fitting in, but my friends have come to accept me and so have i, to some extent! Peace be with you. Your own mind can become a nightmare because your thoughts never seem to shut off and being a human lie detector can be pretty hurtful. I’ve always had a vivid imagination. The INFJ that I have been dating is amazingly intelligent. There have been times when I have shut people out, and in my experience this is a very destructive habit. I feel people’s energy and emotions like they’re my own if I’m not careful to put the wall up. The best thing – for me – to find and manifest my inner light is insight meditation (zen or vipassana) in combination with cultivating some close friendships and maybe – one day – find the woman that really matches me because nothing is more nurturing than knowing someone who loves and perfectly understands you. I’m an infj too. I have a very strong set of moral beliefs that I find difficult to break, and I certainly don’t want to break them. I never have felt I belong in this world.. and I often mourn that I can’t do anything to change the bad. I am fed up with what I am and how it feels. That’s not me, that making myself the center of attention/marketing myself to others. Not just because all people are special and stuff, but because few people I’ve met have truly explored such complexities of lives, few have taken the time to withdraw and realize the relationships they’ve forged and the role they play in others lives. I personally think that I am really sensitive to highs and lows and my response resembles bipolar symptoms. Its so cool to see other people with this personality type, because I just found out that it’s really rare! I’m under an unfounded compulsion to guard my heart, my thoughts, and my feelings almost jealously; which I do, until they come bubbling to the top, unbidden, in moments of conflict, criticism, or anger. The problem with shutting down is that it can make the situations worse. those two characters would never have met in a bar, so where then to find it? Unfortunately I suffer from a mild mood disorder that often puts me in a very bad condition to deal with the rest of the world when I am on the depressive end of the spectrum. I have struggled my whole life basically and thought I had some weird problem that I just didn’t fit in 😉 Ha!!! My live in girlfriend, and soulmate in so many ways is ALSO an INFJ, though she is an INFJ-T. It’s not that I don’t love my family, it’s just that I often feel overwhelmed when there’s a lot of people around me talking, specially when they start talking or making jokes about things that I find superfluous. Havent found any answers to this yet. I recently discovered I am an INFJ. Hi Amanda, I am an INFJ, live in Venezuela and am a Psychologist. Like all things young, you start off all woobly before you start to become an INFJ master. Conversations are the best because there can be so much depth added when its backed by logistical emotion and intellectual thinking! School was an horrible experience for me. I am currently a first year candidate in psychoanalysis. Being an INFJ as well do you have any thought on this? The worse thing is that those who truly understand us are pretty much nowhere to be seen in plain sight, especially when we only cover less than 5% of the whole population. Just be sure to surround yourself with the knowledge to back your ideas and the people to support your heart as you pursue your goals. But I am so glad you have a partner who complements the way you function. I am an INFJ, and many of the issues mentioned by the other commenters are very true of me as well. Hi, is this done by some scientific result? As a child I was very shy, and always was the wise one. About 10 years ago my results were INTP so the IN is what’s always been strong and constant. Or any others? I do appreciate it when those who I care about take the time to get to know me and try to understand me. I see no need to have a wider circle as I truly value the people that I befriend and feel like these are meaningful connections. I have two friends whom I rarely see and they are totally cool with that. INFJ’s can get there. I am also very creative and have a degree in Illustration. Upon discovering that I was an INFJ and possessed the least common personality type, I was not very surprised. I opened up at my pace so that let me go deeper at a snails pace and thanks to that I realised there was nothing wrong with me and that therapy was the best choice I could have made because it led me to holistic alternatives (strange but true) and that is how I discovered that being an introvert and sensitive is ok. I always felt like I could do better though. The set features high-top, converse-like, red shoes which is a diverge to its unspecifically grubby appearance. It makes me feel guilty that I couldn’t be there for them, and like I am selfish. Most of the dating I do is on a dating site(not gonna say which one it is.) My species! Sometimes I could see things no one saw, I could sense motives no one sensed, but I could not explain it. I am not as smart as her, and barely got through my undergraduate program. INFJ/INTJ here. I read the differences and I can feel how I have changed as a person. I’m very glad that I am part of the 1%. So it’s VITAL to get that creative downtime where you can therapeutically express some of those emotions. INFJs are capable of being spontaneous, but there will be times when we just cannot wrap our minds around a new idea. While I appreciate your desire for authenticity, in the future you might consider using gentler words when criticizing the feelings of others, if for no other reason than your benefit. Which is hardest for our type I believe, to pick ourselves back up. :).But I won’t change it.In the end it just means I am unique , well as unique as all the people in this blog:D.I am just Glad to meet them all ,few people in the world who knows whats it’s like to be me ,well almost me . I really didn’t realize how being an INFJ was affecting my life and happiness. It’s totally normal to have to cut off relationships in our case. I always felt guilty for not keeping up friendships because they were so draining because they never went very deep. I do look for meaning in everything I do, and find helping people in some way really makes me feel useful and motivated. It fits me to a T. Unfortunately, I am an outgoing introvert, which people just do not understand. Learn to get out there, day something! One of the very few things I cannot relate with, is the whole ”fluent verbal communication” thing, lol I don’t have that..at all. It ruined my body and my mind and my life. Reading these comments… is really amazing. Some more interesting things about INFJ’s: Deja vu is very common; being able to understand dreams is very important to an INFJ because sometimes they can’t tell the difference if they are awake or dreaming; they love to counsel people; helping people is what drives them; they have the ability to take on someone’s feelings and feel the exact same; they live mostly in their minds instead of their bodies (meaning, they’re posture is very reserved instead of outgoing); they feel misunderstood a lot which can lead to depression; they are able to give comprehensive answers or solutions suddenly (many people believe this to be a magical quality of the INFJ); they may appear to others to be reserved but feel colorful, fun, imaginative, playful, and daring inside; they love playing with ideas and philosophies and theories; “old soul”; very insightful; they rely heavily on their sense of vision; they often “think” by way of images rather than words; peace makers; they can see past a person’s façade; some feel like they don’t communicate well with others, yet others seem to think that they are a social butterfly; able to read body language very well; they are able to effectively read, understand, and relate to others; they have a difficult time recognizing their own emotions and how to deal with them; vivid imagination. Best wishes to you and my fellow INFJs, Hi Jennifer, yes the INFJ I new was like that, too. Anyways its all new and interesting but feels nice to know why I am the way I am now and realize my brains not totally loosing it, just very vivid I suppose lol. I got an INFJ and of course didn’t know what that meant so I went to Wikipedia. It’s giving me hope that I and the world around me are not insane. I’m not just here to work n die. I’m a INFJ. I do feel like I have stronger/deeper emotions then most… Others realize it as well (I think), saying I am too sensitive and/or emotional. I don’t really understand achievement – like I don’t see the point in it. That’s the beauty of being a INFJ. These ventures (and how I act socially…. I’m an I, so it works. Hey, I’m an INFJ. I’m also a natural musician, and play by ear and feel, a bass player to boot, which is not uncommon among this type, but the skills involved are also related to INFJ which makes me feel a whole lot better about my skills and what to do with them. In a new relationship, we may feel quite discouraged when the excitement and romance inevitably start to fade. It’s usually apparent when something is bothering us, but that doesn’t mean we’ll want to talk about it. I offer few explanations as to why I cancel plans or change my mind now, and that’s probably the only thing I wish my younger self knew how to deal with. My ideal life would be to live on a big farm but near the city. It is not fun to function backward compared to the rest of the world. one is a girl i dated a while back, the other is a girl i am currently falling for. Feeling lonely and misunderstood. So then, I shift into “what can I do for the other person” mode. INFJ all the way…, Yes, being an INFJ has always been an interesting experience. It’s hard to relate when you see others with their masks off and they don’t know they’re being read like a book, their motives revealed. I personally maybe want to do something to do with animals as I like dogs. Like superman in a way. I’m exactly what the article indicates. I’ve been in therapy and my therapist suggested going to the library or coffee shop to work or hang out so I don’t feel so isolated. Thoughts? I gave him a taste of his own medicine. I now use my sensibilities and inherent personality traits to my advantage, leveraging success. People find me hard to get to know. I am ultimately optimistic even though I can be very disappointed or experience a great deal of hardship. I spend more time worrying about how things are gonna turn out rather than spending it with my girl for the present! Most all people close to me like or love me very much, although it’s very clear they do not completely understand me. hmm thats all I have for today folks, hopefully us INFJs can help eachother out so we can live our lives to our full potential! First I got ISFJ, but when I read description I don’t feel that me. I am an INFJ. Who knows, you might just be one of them. now i hope that maybe im just very aware and sensitive and i feel everything stonger than most people. I find your blog to be quite enlightening. Though I did graduate from grad school with a 3.95. I get so drained from even one night of socializing, but can be full of energy on other days. (Although, to emulate an ENFP, that would be so much more fun). The best description I have ever heard – just about the differences between introverts and extroverts was made by my pastor: Introverts need quiet, safety and solitude to recharge. Hello all fellow INFJ’s. I still think I am good at perceiving the emotions of individuals and groups, it’s just that I tend to subordinate these to objective information now days. Find it difficult to open up with them. I am an INFJ (and a teenager) it was such a relief to know there are people who see the world as I see.Before knowing my personality type, I thought I just had to “man up” but now I get why I feel what I feel.. and your post definitely helped me in this journey 🙂. I am too an INFJ and HSP (who is also dyslexic)! My professor made me take the test again because he didn’t believe that I was one of the rarest personality types. I appreciate all of your posts, and am grateful for your posting about INFJs, of which I am definitely one. Happiness in my world has to be a collective. I find pleasure in helping people- it makes me feel good to help someone. but no one knows that about me. I’ve always felt like I don’t fit in with my friends. <3. That can be good when I’m trying to figure out a solution for myself or help others find a solution to their problems. It gives space to clear out other’s energy-and return back to our own self and center. There is nothing more powerful than when that person does a 360 and seems “cured”. Nevertheless, your article seemed to nail how I think by default and the “T” may be an artifact of my various roles and vocations. ; when we have that desire and passion! INFJ here, too and like some others here I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) but I have to wonder if my out of control emotions and thoughts aren’t due to my personality type because I have none of the rage or the outbursts commonly associated with BPD. I need to keep on top of my B vitamins for energy and make myself go to bed on time. I love this site and reading many of the comments! A great aspect of our personality type is that we constantly want to evolve as better human beings. I go all out, one-track mind when I’m into something. YOU are a lucky lady to have a husband who understands who you really are and why you respond to life as you do, and loves and supports you so lovingly. I am always trying to adapt to others personality types and am puzzled at who i really am deep down. I tested myself at age 16 and was INFJ and now, at 44, I still am. I’m glad I got to post a little bit about myself with others who can relate. I used to not like being unique because that’s all I felt, feeling different from everybody else and wished I was somewhat normal. I see people pointing from across the classroom. Thanks! I realized that I am getting more and more in sync with my inner voice (N & F) and it actually saved me from a few painful experiences (relationships, friends, family, etc) in the past by acting on my inner voice beforehand. I’m the first born son and have a younger brother. You have hit pretty much everything on the head for me. Thankfully, I grew up in a loving home and I have parents who have always celebrated who I am. I am a INTJ female which is also very rare. To this day, only a handful of people know who I really am, but i have perfected the image and can pretend for a period of time. Growing up I had always felt like I was misunderstood. *smile*. I hemmed and hawed, but I eventually agreed. It was a bit scary; this wikipedia understood me better than my parents did! I noticed that my personality wasn’t common, but I didn’t realize how uncommon. 😉. Because of my natural attraction to solitude, I’ve learned to view my introversion as an asset. I have never been so happy in my life! I often go for several weeks at a time without physically talking to anyone. I never really felt like I thought the same way as others my age and I could never understand the obsession with pop culture. I also didn’t understand why I seemed like an extrovert but on the inside I was introverted. I would say, I am almost always misunderstood because of this complex personality of mine. Probably to the outside world I look dazed and confused. I was always told I was an extrovert growing up, and while I’d smile and nod and agree, deep inside I always felt like this wasn’t true. I took a personality test and came up with INFJ. I have been called bipolar as well but it’s because of my emotions not so much my extrovert likeness. I can carry on a social conversation, but only with people I really am comfortable with. Learning I was INFJ has helped me to relax and accept myself as I am. I guess this makes me a more self-centered INFJ? I am also an INFJ, we need to celebrate our uniqueness. I am an INFJ. Hi! It is a see saw …up and down…up and down. LOL! i drive a nice car, have a nice house, but i don’t have romantic love, so it’s all worthless to me, and i dispiritedly wonder where to find my misspent years. And I think I will die never finding it out. We have personality traits similar to some amazing famous people! I did my best to shut my mouth but I’ve had enough when the injustice and insensitivity around me was too much. Which my first thought was maybe “earth signs” could be what was linking us..but then I saw a few people who commented and said they had suns in libra. if i knew that answer, i’d have an extra dollar or two and that’s for sure. It feels like this desire to ‘help’ comes from our own need for understanding and love from others so we can feel safe with our overwhelming emotions. But under stress, a different side of the INFJ comes out. Hi Jeff. I’ve had this happen my whole life; I will be sitting and contemplating everything, everyone, ideas, feelings etc. And situations where you could predict peoples actions and when they match you kindly rejoice that you were right. I avoid quarrels or situations of fight because I can’t stand those. It’s only now that I am starting to realise that I am just being me. Completely opposite ends of the spectrum! Thanks for reading, sorry it was so rambling. I grew up being told that I was weird and constantly felt like the black sheep of my family. Afterwards, I need serious alone time, but during the session I’m animated, funny, approachable. I only hope I can help make this world a better place for everybody, and if that is bridge to far. and actually in realistic, neither my parents nor my boyfriend support me(they appreciate that good rare qualities of mine but they dont want me get hurt so they wont support i develop it). Everybody is beautiful in there own way, people need to learn to respect those who are different then them. In the past 30 years, I have had some friends, but none is close. stress consumes me, but I never talk to anyone.. That’s usually when I smile and walk away. I took him everywhere with me as a kid and I was very upset if he was lost or threatened in any way. Haha forgive me if it sounds rather self-absorbed, it’s just that I’ve been made to feel as if I needed to validate that part of myself. Michaela, pi ached Jeff did her feel like he didn’t fit in before doing the test ? I’m starting out as a writer and can confidently say that I have created so many worlds in my head that, in the bluest days, I often find the “real” one boring, if not even saddening. I am a ENTJ and that mix could have been an absolute disaster had I not known in advance what I was dealing with. And the closer you get to us — like a significant other, best friend, or child — the higher the standards rise. I’m just getting accepting myself, letting what other people think of me be their problem not mine and realizing most people aren’t going to understand me. Doctor, dentist, psychologist and a practitioner is what I’m looking at, at the moment) some other problems I’ve had, have been, making friends with all GROUPS in school, making teachers happy aswell as friends, trying harder than others to not fight, changing my personality for each and every person I came into contact with, and finding part time jobs and having different personality a with each person in each job I had. You actually understand how to bring an issue to light * If we have a problem we will look for a solution together. When tried to speak up, get criticize. As a child and teen I had such insecurities and wanted to belong that it just drained me. YES. I couldn’t even perceived how bad off I was until the stress caused my brain to shut my body down. I truly believe he saved me, he kept me from becoming lost. I enjoy serving in church and volunteering in organizations. thanks! I am a lider in a church and it’s so hard to HAVE TO spend a lot of time with people. I have always tested infj since the first time I took the test as a teen, and am now in my late twenties. Oh I dipped into it but because we are so different itexacerbated the feelings of isolation and being so quirky that it was too much , needed massive courage / self belief to sustain! Hi, Jeff! Very glad I found that i’m an INFJ … I’ve been struggling for years. I took it twice to be sure. But I don’t regret anything. Because they haven’t heard me speaking but that was not exactly was with I am really comfortable with my family and friends but with strangers I get really conscious and uncomfortable.i know for a infj it is very difficult to get out of the shell we take time alot of time but we do after reading this I really felt better that people like me also exist in this world thank u so much.. > Inability to connect with anyone, even my own family – I find myself often times completely unable to relate to or get to know people, for example i have been told several times by several co workers that I am ‘Reserved’ and ‘mysterious’, > Extreme risk aversion – not sure about you guys but I generally take almost no risks in my life and this is has led me to working a boring office job and achieving not much in my life it seems.